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Joke of the Day

"My mate wears the same jacket when he's impersonating either Matt Damon or Hugh Jackman. Maybe he's Bourne with it, maybe it's Wolverine."

Next Joke
 
"Black friday, ughhhh ALL FRIDAYS MATTER!"
"I'm 100% straight So straight I don't even like touching my own dick to masturbate. My friend Dave does it for me."
"My highschool bully still takes my lunch money... But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!"
"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth. So why did you come around then? Well I saw this light at the window...!"
"My wife laughed at me because I struggled to get a proper full on erection, I told her ""Its a lot harder than it looks"""
"If you're behind someone at an ATM, let them know you're not a threat by gently kissing their neck."
"So Mickey Mouse is in a lawyer's office. The lawyer says ""So you say you want to divorce your wife because she's crazy?"". Micky Mouse replies ""No, I said she's fucking Goofy!"""
"Hey baby, you want to come back to my place? I do one hell of a Bill Cosby impression I'd love to show you"
"Hey middle-aged people who suddenly change your first name--screw you. I'm calling you what I've been calling you for the last 10 years."