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Joke of the Day

"BlackBerry: being significantly less obvious than a magazine to carry into the office shitter since 2002."

"Why did the angry jedi cross the road? To get to the dark side"

"[sees a dog about to get run over] Me [dives toward dog & rolls to safety]: that was close [sees a cat about to get run over] Me: car coming"

"[Bob Dylan giving singing lessons] I'd like you to sing it again, but this time plug your nose and put these 5 marbles in your mouth."

"I really want to drive private or hired cars. But I don't have anything to chauffeur it."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Darth Vader Barbie ...with plastic helmet; pull the string and she sounds like James Earl Jones"

"If I ever get to an age where the music from the ice cream truck doesn't make me excited, pull the plug."

"Social media allows me to review all my mistakes in chronological order...with pictures."

"WIFE: Don't tell the kids but I threw away those awful pictures they made & stuck on the fridge ME: [sprinting towards the bin] MY ART"

"A console gamer walks into a bar... ...only to buy a free drink for 60$ To anyone wondering this joke is not made by me but i just had to share it. Credit goes to /u/Unbiased_Bob"