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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many Survivors does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One to start screwing it in and the rest to vote 'em off the ladder."

"Two men just got away with the largest Viagra heist in history. Police say to be on the lookout for hardened criminals."

"How's a Volvo just like a woman? The pussy is on the inside."

"George W. Bush isn't writing a memoir, but ""an account of key decisions"", such as 9/11, Iraq, and ""all the other things Cheney made me do."""

"Guys I need help. What are the type of numbers you get when you take an integer and add it to itself? I can't even"

"Why do so many lunatics have ear infections? Because they're ear-rash-ional."

"Whats the difference between a prostitute and a dead baby? I only have one under my bed"

"What do you call an atheist in a six foot pine box? All dressed up, with no place to go."

"""This is the best acid ever. I totally should write some children's books now."" ~ Dr. Seuss"

"I don't want to spoil my autobiography for you. But at the end, you find out that you've just wasted 4.99."