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Joke of the Day

"I tried to use ""MyDick"" as my Netflix password... ...Netflix told me ""not long enough."""

"At first, I was merely a stock trading enthusiast... ...but now I'm fully invested."

"What do you call a masturbating pickle? Jerkin' Gherkin"

"How do you organize a space party? You planet"

"I miss the old days Nostalgia was better back then."

"A blonde and a brunette are exchanging wild stories... Brunette: ""have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"" Blonde: *ponders for a moment* ""No but I've been swung around by the tits before!"""

"I saw a chameleon today. I guess it was a pretty crappy chameleon."

"""Here, let me fuck it up for you."" - Every kid ever"

"The first woman on the Moon contacted Houston. ""Houston, we have a problem."" *""What is it?""* ""Never mind."" *""What's the problem?""* ""It's nothing."" *""Please tell us.""* ""I'm fine."""

"You know it's weird you add 'French' to anything and it makes it better: 'French cuisine', 'French toast', 'French kiss'... The only exception is 'people.'"