81002

Joke of the Day

"How do you catch an elephant? Dig a hole, line it with peas and fill it with ashes. That way when the elephant comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole."

"I had to get a drug test today.. I got pissed."

"Don't be racist! I takes all colors to make a rainbow. Except black. There's no black in a rainbow. Credits to vinesauce"

"Saw an ad that said ""Radio for sell, volume stuck on full. 1$"" I thought, ""I can't turn that down""."

"GENIE: u have 3 wishes ME: give Taylor Swift 1 extra ear GENIE: k ME: a blue one GENIE: righto ME: now make Kanye hear out of it GENIE: dude"

"When a black guy pulls a knife on me on the subway I remind him he doesn't have to feed into racial stereotypes. Then I usually get stabbed."

"If you ever need someone to look like a complete idiot in your photographs, I'm your guy."

"Life called: They're all out of lemons. It's over."

"How school works: 2+2=4. Homework: 2+4+2=8. Exam: John had 4 apples. He eats one and gives one to a friend. Calculate the Suns mass."

"*feminist at thanksgiving dinner* ""dad will u use your white privilege to pass the salt"""