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Joke of the Day

"GENIE: u have 3 wishes ME: give Taylor Swift 1 extra ear GENIE: k ME: a blue one GENIE: righto ME: now make Kanye hear out of it GENIE: dude"

"What did the dog say after it slid across some sandpaper? Ruff."

"First they find ice on Mars.. ..now they find water.. ..next they will find Scotch.. ..NASA hell-bent on proving Men are from Mars.."

"So Donald Duck was sent to rehab.. He had a big problem. He was addicted to quack."

"First day on the job as a drug dealer... Dealer: I don't have coke... is Pepsi okay? *gets stabbed*"

"What's the point of going to somebodys funeral? It's not like they are coming to yours."

"I have an addiction to cheddar... But it's only mild"

"Sneaky? Dude, I got two handfuls of soup into a movie theater once."

"How many Mexicans does it take to run a computer? Dos"

"What do you call a virus named Enza that causes the flu? a flu Enza. Thanks a lot everyone, I looked forward to this day for a long time."