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Joke of the Day

"""Ben Carson makes stuff up"" said Donald Trump, self-proclaimed zillionaire, demigod and unicorn owner."

"I just don't understand pedophiles, kids are SO annoying."

"Where in the world is Comic Sans, Diego?"

"I like to go to death metal shows and throw throat lozenges on the stage, it shows I care."

"I'm not afraid to admit that I'm not the sharpest elevator in the sea."

"Kate Upton Nightmare... ""Hey, last night I had a nightmare, I dreamed I was Kate Upton's new born baby, but I was bottle fed... ... [I know it's soggy, but it made me laugh...]"

"My wife got naked and asked me to ""show her a good time"" so I showed her photos of me and my friends before we got married."

"It's a shame that Samsung cancelled production of the Note 7... but at least they went out with a bang."

"Why did the hard drive crash? Because it had a bad driver."

"[Request] Can I have a joke about early 20th century writing, poetry, or T.S. Eliot? Not a joke...just a request to the more talented. Thanks in advance!"