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Joke of the Day

"My wife got naked and asked me to ""show her a good time"" so I showed her photos of me and my friends before we got married."

"I am good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet... I don't know ""Y"""

"You can't know a person well until you live with them. You can't know them really well until you divorce them."

"A bullet walks into a bar, depressed. ""Why the sad face?"" asks the bartender. ""I got fired."""

"Do you know how a suicide wank works? You just shoot yourself in the face!"

"I forgot a bag of groceries in my taxi. It's been driving me bananas."

"You're lifting weights dude, you're not in labor. Settle down."

"Q: What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain? A: Stegosaur-rust!"

"Did you hear about Trump's tax plan? Declare that the US has a $900 million loss so we all don't have to pay taxes!"

"Pretty sure Google has this master plan of taking over the world by blackmailing everyone with their search history."