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Joke of the Day

"Rating all the Nancy Drew books I've read on Goodreads so it looks like I'm smart or something."

"Her: Men are lucky. You just get to wake up & be hot. Me: Not true. I still have to put my contacts in so I can see how hot I look. H: ..."

"Hey guys, have you heard about the new corduroy pillow? It's making head lines!"

"Sneak into the employee bathroom at Target and make some violent alien noises, maybe leave a jellyfish in the toilet"

"What did the Father of Judaism sleep on? An Abra-Hammock I'm sorry"

"What do you call a scary bee? A boo bee."

"What does Tom Cruise have in common with gay porn stars? All their best work is behind them"

"Post the worst joke you can think on the fly. I'll start: What happened when the Pillsbury Doughboy's girlfriend was left out too long? He had a stalemate."

"Thanks for the heart attack, Chinese menu under the door while I'm watching a scary movie."

"I can always tell by their eyes if someone is a primary school teacher They have small pupils....."