116342

Joke of the Day

"Her: Men are lucky. You just get to wake up & be hot. Me: Not true. I still have to put my contacts in so I can see how hot I look. H: ..."

"What do you call an electro-food? (it's giga-bite!) yeah it was giga bite yeah you're right yeah giga bite that was it giga bite it!!"

"I took my grandma to one of those fish spa's where the fish eat your dead skin Sooooo much cheaper than burying her in the cemetery."

"I'm crap at telling jokes. I keep on punching up the fuck lines."

"I do NOT trust my bowels... I just think they're full of shit _"

"My friend Victor changed his last name to ""E"". No one knows why. He's become a Mystery."

"Might buy a junkyard just to grow my own junk food."

"Did you hear about that guy named Reginald who often visited his local supermarket? Indeed, he was a **reg**ular customer."

"What's blue and yellow and sits at the bottom of the pool? A baby with slashed floaties. What's red and yellow and floats on top of the pool? Floaties with a slashed baby."

"[Jesus plays hide-n-seek] Jesus: [exiting cave] Ah, ya found me! Let's play again. Harder this time. Find me now. [He ascends to Heaven]"