80756

Joke of the Day

"I saw a middle aged man staring at a picture of his very first steps. With tears in his eyes, he told me he regrets ever replacing the steps with an elevator."

"What do Greeks call someone when the most common consonant in their name is R? A rho-man"

"If three men are arguing about whether to be known as Jews, Israelis, or Hebrews... ...would you say they're just arguing Semitics?"

"Want to know the worst thing about yourself? Hang out with a kid for an hour, then ask them."

"What do call someone who takes care of reindeer and really enjoys it? A Jolly Rancher."

"What do you have when you have a cow and two ducks? Milk and quackers."

"My wife said she'd like another baby... ... I agreed, the one we have is fucking annoying!"

"I heard the fork was having an affair with the knife... Or is it too spoon to bring that up?"

"Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Whatever it is, its heading straight for the World Trade Center."

"My job sent me to a sexual harassment seminar last week... And now, I'm thinking I'm gonna be pretty good at it."