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Joke of the Day
"I almost got raped in jail I think my family takes monopoly way too seriously"
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"Why is it hard to watch two elephants boxing? Because they've got the same colour trunks."
"What do you call a Canadian singer eating French mustard on the roof? Ceiling Dijon."
"I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don't call it Liam then what is even the point of you"
"Question: Why do men always give their penis a name? Answer: Because they don't want a stranger making 95 percent of their decisions for them."
"I'm not saying that girl's a slut... But she has touched more wieners than Heinz ketchup."
"If a dog tells you you're dreaming... believe him."
"Why are pirates never scared of a storm? Because they love torrents."
"My girlfriend treats me like a god Now if I can only get her to stop being an atheist."
"I want to start a coffee shop that only plays ambient/electronic music... and call it Brian Beano."