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Joke of the Day

"What is a sandwich on a ship? A sub-marine"

"Roses are... Roses are grey, Violets are grey, i'm colourblind, and Canadian, eh?"

"What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? Canoes tip."

"I accidentally ate one of my dog's bones and OH MY GOD THE MAILMAN'S OUTSIDE"

"My old car is a great investment It doubles in value every time I fill the gas tank."

"After sitting in the labor and delivery waiting room chairs for 12 hours, I need an epidural as much as those women in labor do."

"I just taped the TV remote to my dogs back so I'll never lose it again. Your move Apple."

"[couples therapy] HER: He's always talking down to me ME: *heavy sigh* It's called being condescending but I doubt you knew that, Karen"

"Damn, you know you're getting old when you get up in the morning and have to rest for awhile"

"I was going to make a subreddit about middle children today, But then I realised everyone would just forget about it."