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Joke of the Day

"I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger... Then it hit me."

"What's the hardest thing about nailing a baby to a tree? My Penis."

"Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?"

"I'm lazy as fuck.. If I ever had to run for my life, I would probably die."

"How does the universe throw a party? They planet."

"The lights at this chinese dumpling place were too bright I had to ask them to Dim Sum"

"My ex-girlfriend made a really great cake the other day Getting her legs to fit in the oven was a real hassle, though."

"I've got a new aardvark. Would you like to play with him? I don't really know. I've heard it growling it doesn't sound very friendly. Does it bite? That's what I want to find out."

"If you want big tips... ...circumcise an elephant."

"I got a new pair of gloves today but they're both 'lefts' Which, on the one hand, is great"