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Joke of the Day

"Some people tell me I have a superiority complex. But it's actually pretty simple. They're just too dumb to comprehend it."

"When I die I want my Group project members to lower me into my grave. So they can let me down one last time."

"What do cows like to put on their hot dogs? moostard"

"I wonder if Southern Belles say ""I do declare"" a lot when they're doing their taxes."

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."

"Past elections: Which candidate will most improve our country? 2016 election: Which candidate is least likely to start The Purge?"

"Hope you don't mind if I make transformer sound effects when we switch positions."

"I figured out that if I have my kids hold on to my cell phone, I will never forget them anywhere again."

"The wall clock at work seems to be stuck on half past f*ck this sh*t o' clock."

"The Sombero. A more restrained sombrero you wear at solemn occasions, like funerals."