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Joke of the Day

"I thought VH1 was showing an episode of The Golden Girls, but turns out it was an interview with Steven Tyler, David Bowie & Keith Richards."

"Yesterday I was charged with kidnapping... That's the last time I fall asleep on a goat!"

"A blonde said, ""I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn-signal fluid."" "

"What does an accountant say when you ask him the time? It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait - 13 seconds no wait - 14 seconds no wait......"

"If two vegans are arguing. Is it still considered beef?"

"What happened to the wizard who ran away with the circus? The police made him bring it back again."

"Well it's now clear to me that this crime scene would be considered, what? Pants required? Pants preferred? Hey, is that guy dead?"

"What did the moderate muslim say to the radical muslim? Hello friend!"

"My body is shaped like a hooded sweatshirt."

"The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts."