52009

Joke of the Day

"Well it's now clear to me that this crime scene would be considered, what? Pants required? Pants preferred? Hey, is that guy dead?"

"What do people do when a chemist dies? They barium."

"When cute black and white bears start communing with spirits, it's pandanormal."

"I tried to catch some fog the other day... Mist."

"Yelp is a great way to find out where garbage people will never eat again because one time a waitress forgot their honey mustard."

"Why are 90 degree angles so cocky? Because they are always right"

"My car broke down today. It confessed to a series of hit-and-run murders back in 2006."

"Manager: Your fired Me: *You're Manager: How did you know I spelled it wrong if I spoke it out loud Me: How did you know I corrected you"

"I had the worst day EVER!!! I found a hair in my booger and it totally ruined my booger :("

"Gun control sounds like a dangerous but exciting way to change the channel"