52009

Joke of the Day

"Well it's now clear to me that this crime scene would be considered, what? Pants required? Pants preferred? Hey, is that guy dead?"

"If you get nervous at a nude beach, just imagine everyone in their underwear."

"My penis used to be in the Guinness Book of World Records until the librarian told me to take it out."

"What happens when you pour acid on a basic bitch? She becomes salty."

"[tv commercial] me: ""know what i'd love for breakfast?"" mum: ""what's that son?"" me: ""if someone pre-chewed my food"" narrator: ""porridge"""

"Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter"

"My hand has never pumped so hard for a little squirt. Stupid empty soap bottle."

"Mexican Magician The Mexican Magician says ""I will disappear at the count of three. Uno, dos..."" *POOF* And just like that, he disappeared without a tres."

"What's the difference between a drunk Morse code operator and a lesbian? One's a lit clicker and the other is a clit licker."

"The people in charge of hell sometimes visit North Korea just to exchange ideas."