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Joke of the Day

"Yesterday I was charged with kidnapping... That's the last time I fall asleep on a goat!"

"Why doesnt ray charles see his friends ? Because he is married ."

"Girl: I dumped my last boyfriend cause he always gave short answers. I never knew what he was thinking. That's so annoying, right? Me: Word"

"If you're suddenly feeling warm and wet, it might be because I put your Voodoo doll somewhere warm and wet."

"A man isn't complete until he's married. Then, he's finished."

"Oscar Pistorius gets six years jail. Jail, then home detention, and back to jail. Wow, for someone with no legs he's covering a lot of ground."

"I'm not sure about accusing someone of wanting to get into my pants. I'd like to see him try. I can hardly get into them myself.."

"""Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever."""

"What's the difference between a group of baboons and our political system? I don't know."

"Two priests decided to open a Fish and Chip shop... ... One was a Fish Friar, the other was a Chip Monk."