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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a group of politically similar crows? A cawcus"

"Twitter addiction A man goes to his doctor and says: -Doctor, I think i am addicted to Twitter. -Eh,sorry...I don't follow you."

"Why was the scarecrow promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field!"

"I thought Angry Birds was what I get from other drivers."

"Scientists have found... ...That people don't give a damn about apathy."

"I got dumped by the personal trainer I was dating. When I asked why, she said we just weren't working out."

"Teacher: Why didn't you answer me ? Pupil: I did I shook my head Teacher: You don't expect me to hear it rattling from here do you !"

"Wife: We get 1 ""cheat meal"" on our diet. I want tacos. What do you want? Me: The waitress. ...And that's why I'm not getting laid tonight."

"What's the difference between my porn stash and Call of Duty? One is full of screaming 10 year old boys and the other is Call of Duty."

"Me: If you don't like my rules, maybe you can find a different mom. 4yo: *excitedly* Can we really do that?"