207036

Joke of the Day

"Why was the scarecrow promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field!"

"I bought an extension ladder from a recovering alcoholic on Craigslist... But it only has 12 Steps!"

"[male bank teller gives my niece a sucker] Me: What do you say? Niece: My aunt's single, do you have money? Me: lol how embarrassing! Do u?"

"You know what I hate about fashion designers? They are so clothes-minded."

"Is it really 2016? I mean Tarzan is playing in theaters, Pokemon is a craze, and a Clinton is running for President of the United States."

"There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well that's a little condescending."

"This one needs your full participation! Say it out loud. Say the word ""silk"" 3 times Now, what do cows drink?"

"Why did the corn maze go back to school? It was tired of working in a dead end field."

"I haven't slept for 10 days.... ...because that would be too long. - Mitch Hedberg"

"Astronauts are cowards, why don't you stay down here and face earth's problems like a man"