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Joke of the Day

"Why did Hugh Jackman single handedly stop a Franciscan botanist from accidentally dropping a match in the forest? Because only Hugh can prevent florist friars."

"Customer: I didn't order this. Waiter: I know but your meal tastes worse."

"A Pirate walks into a bar with a paper towl on his head.... Bartender goes ""Hey buddy whats with the paper towl on your head?"" The Pirate replies ""Arrr I got a bounty on me head."""

"My friend is selling me some old French guns... Thieve never been used but they were dropped once."

"Person: Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Me: I understand. *I spend the rest of my life biting the hands of everyone who hasn't fed me*"

"Whats the most sexually frustrated food? Cantaloupe."

"*wipes pizza grease & sauce off mouth* *eats napkin*"

"Why doesn't Ed have a girlfriend? Cause Sheeran"

"Irrational fear 807: being spoken to by a comedian during their performance. I would die a thousand proverbial deaths and a single real one."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Husband: Honey, do you know why the chicken crossed over? Wife: No, why? Husband: Because it was from your side!"