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Joke of the Day

"For Sale... Parachute: $300. Slightly stained. Used once; never opened. No strings attached."

"Why won't Derek Zoolander vote for Hillary Clinton? Because he can't turn left."

"A guy with crossed eyes.. ..got stuck between a tree."

"Doctor: Sir, I have two bad news for you The first is that you have 48 hours before you die -And the second one? :'( I should have told you yesterday"

"What are your best 'no arm, no legs' jokes? What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on his porch? Matt."

"A woman got breast implants made of wood yesterday... It would be funny if this joke had a punchline. Wooden tit."

"What is the hardest thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it. I'm going to hell.."

"Guess a movie funded by reddit featuring Tom Hanks and Matt Damon.???? Shaving Pao's Privates. ;)"

"Your password must contain at least two female characters who talk to each other about something other than a man."

"Why was six scared of seven? Because seven ""ate"" nine."