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Joke of the Day

"A powerful tornado tore through our town last night. So far, eight bodies have been found. Plot twister. It only damaged the graveyard."

"Why do dogs make good sailors? They know their knots."

"Little Jack Warner Sat in the corner A finger in every pie. He stuck in his thumb And pulled out a bung And said ""Lets all go to Dubai!"""

"What did the guy from Northern Canada have to say about the place? He wanted Nunavut."

"I'm having trouble finishing my joke about tree surgery! Stick joke here!"

"Q: If two people had a race and one had sand in his shoe but the other did not, who would win? A: The one with sand in his shoe -- if it was quicksand."

"In the time it took me to RT in Favstar I could have written the tweet in calligraphy and hand delivered it to all 7600 of my followers."

"I'm going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, tell them, I'm outstanding."

"Sometimes I think I should try to be a better person, but then I remember I'm good-looking, so I'm, like, nah."

"I saw a sheep give birth today All I could say was ""ewe"" (I know this joke is probably overused but I'm currently on a Bill Nye the Science Guy nostalgia trip right now so fuck the haters.)"