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Joke of the Day

"Money is a good servant... ... but a bad master."

"I knew the Psychic was no good the moment she accepted my check"

"I consider myself a hopeless romantic because I only fall in love with women who are out of my league."

"Why didn't the lesbians go shopping for sports equipment? Because they don't like Dicks."

"Why wouldn't Chad Kroeger (lead singer of Nickelback) have sex with Helen Keller? Because she's a woman!"

"""well i asked asked her to move in after 3 months but i don't think-"" [cop interrupts me] do you know how fast you were going IN YOUR CAR"

"A prostitute got a tramp stamp It said ""tips appreciated"""

"I have only ever completed 2 successful high-fives."

"There's no b,c,d,f,g,h,j,k,l,n,o,p,q,r,s,u,v,w,x,y, or z in team either."

"Boss: Are you high? Me: If I was high could I do this? *teleports two inches to the right*"