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Joke of the Day
"I have only ever completed 2 successful high-fives."
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"What kind of house does Fonzie live in? An ""A"" frame..."
"When a kid wants to snuggle it means you're about to get warmth in your heart and an elbow to every single one of your other organs."
"Did you hear about the constipated math teacher? He had to work it out with a pencil."
"What did Will Smith say to Carleton when he asked if he was ready to leave their yoga class? Nah I'ma stay."
"I know they don't recommend ibuprofen during pregnancy but I needed something for the hangovers."
"*Blind Date* Her: Ask me anything.. Me: Do you know how to properly layer nachos? Her: Are you seri.. Me: *flips table*"
"If Donald Trump had a band, what would be its name? Donald Trump and the Trumpets Their first single : We built this wall."
"They say divorce is ruining marriage, but my wife's parents are still married... ...and so are my girlfriend's."
"What's a Judge's favorite drink? Guil-tea!"