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Joke of the Day
"Why were people milking cow upside down? Because the system went tits-up"
Next Joke
"Losing weight is so easy now. I'm just chasing the kids around all day - Jared Fogle"
"House Hunters: We need plenty of space for entertaining, 62 bedrooms, a fully staffed Cheesecake Factory & a heliport. Our budget is $287."
"My wife's just like my kids... Imaginary"
"We both want it. My lips part. His do, too. The tension pulsates. ""I'll take the one w/ sprinkles!"" And that's how I got the last one."
"So a white man walks into a plastic surgeon's office... [FIXED] He tells the plastic surgeon, ""I want to become a black man."""
"When the doctors diagnosed me with leprosy... ...I laughed my head off."
"I was walking down the street with my wife.. And i saw my mother in law being beaten up by six men, when my wife asked ""Aren't you going to help?"" I said ""No, six should be enough."" From Les Dawson."
"My 13 year old doesn't speak when she picks up the phone. She just listens and hangs up. I think she's going to be a hitman someday."
"It's always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I always say, ""I love you"" and they're like, ""thank you for choosing Domino's."""