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Joke of the Day

"The President gets an Escort..."

"My wife is fat. Wife: ""I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""

"You never see baby pigeons because pigeons are cloned by the government. Next question."

"People think I'm weird because I swallowed an abacus They're forgetting it's what's on the inside that counts."

"A frog parked his car in the handicapped spot. It got toad."

"What do all battered women have in common? (In a frustrated voice) They just don't listen."

"Why did the pervert cross the road? He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken!"

"I was with my mom today when some guy backed into our car. I joked with my mom ""That guy's pull out game is weak."" My mom replied ""Not as weak as your dad's."""

"A double amputee has escaped from the mental asylum I wouldn't worry too much, he's armless."

"What would you tell someone who is attempting to steal your cheese (hint: not ""nacho cheese"")? Leave my provolone!"