231028

Joke of the Day

"A frog parked his car in the handicapped spot. It got toad."

"me: I know it's over, but can I have one last hug? Please? Him: *moves closer. stops & sniffs* omg are you covered in superglue?"

"""haha this costume party is great"" ""sir PLEASE get off the table"" ""cool librarian costume"" *sprays silly string* ""hey dude nice police costu"

"My friend's crazy, he left a bunch of chocolate balls on the floor in his cat's litter box, they're not that good."

"Imagine how much money you could save on vitamins by dying."

"Why do gay guys like rotisserie chicken? They like the way the meat spins"

"911? Yes, I was making donuts and... yes, donuts... yes, I'll hold. DAMN YOU GUYS ARE FAST!"

"Can you believe some cultures still communicate with clicky noises or primitive hieroglyphs? *clicks keyboard furiously* *adds 17 emojis*"

"My fairy godmother asked me ""Do you want a long penis or a long memory?"" I don't remember my answer"

"Somehow stumbled upon a nude beach. . Yeah, found myself in the middle of no wear."