80199

Joke of the Day

"You know how bullies stick a kid's head in the toilet & flush? We need to give Bieber credit for turning that into a look."

"If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris' misses you with the round-house kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas and you will still die."

"A mushroom walks into a bar... Bartender- Hey! Get out we don't serve your kind here! Mushroom- Why not? I'm a ""fungi""! Bam! You have all been ""punned""!"

"My girlfriend calls me Ronda Rousey Because I only last 45 seconds in the ring."

"What goes, ""Pieces of Nine, Pieces of Nine""? A parroty error"

"I dig, she dig, we dig, he dig, they dig, you dig .. It's not a beautiful poem but it's really deep."

"When I get a prescription for drugs, I don't ask, Will it work? Are there any side effects?' No, it's Can I drink with these?'"

"*puts on layers of running gear* *makes a ponytail* *laces up sneakers* *drives to McDonalds*"

"How do you sink a French battleship? Put it in water."

"I met this really hot chick at the club last night... She let me give her and handjob and everything."