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Joke of the Day

"I saw someone try to park a car for about 10 minutes. I didn't see the driver so I'm not going to assume what gender she was."

"So, Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton have split up! It's a bit of a Nightmare before Christmas."

"A Jewish boy asks his Father... A Jewish boy asks his Father, ""Dad, can i have 50 pence please? His Father replies, ""40 pence! What do you want 30 pence for?"""

"I call my Asian friend Spongebob Because he's yellow and can't drive"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the restroom? Because they're extinct"

"Hired a violent monkey to beat up my enemies. I call him Injurious George."

"What's the only animal that can't get hit in the head? Duck."

"My nephew asked, 'Do you have a New Years hangover today?' I said, 'No. Hangovers are for people who stop drinking'."

"Why was the scarecrow given an award? Cause he was out standing in his field"

"What do you say when you cross a donkey and a deer? Dat ass doe"