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Joke of the Day

"What was Trump's reaction to the petition for him to release his tax returns Not my precedent"

"I remember the first time I had sex... I still have the receipt :')"

"Did you guys hear about that pastor who refused to perform a Full House themed lesbian wedding? Apparently he didn't want to marry Kate and Ashley."

"Why don't sharks eat clowns? Because they taste funny. I am not sorry."

"TIL that there is an exotic instrument only select children can master. Apparently the Fogle Fiddle has been around since 1977, who knew?"

"A girlfriend of mine was a psychic ... we broke up before we met."

"What's the difference between a hooker and your wife? You pay the hooker and she does what you want. And you pay your wife and she does what she wants."

"""BEST WEEKEND EVER!"" ~ The same stupid bitch on Facebook, at least twice a month..."

"You never see baby pigeons because pigeons are cloned by the government. Next question."

"My girlfriend is pissed at me for never putting down the toilet seat. To be honest, I AM getting pretty tired of carrying it around."