79676

Joke of the Day

"""Why aren't you wearing a coat?""""Coats are for pussies.""My mother asks too many questions."

"- ""Did you know you can make a pizza crust out of cauliflower?"" - ""I'm going to reactivate my Facebook so I can unfriend you there too"""

"Why can I never be a doctor? Because I don't have any patients"

"A horny male giant went to college.... He got a degree in giantities."

"Doctor... Doctor, impotence takes you suddenly? - No, first it lets you look like a fool about 2-3 times ..."

"Today I asked the gamer what his new year's resolution is. He said ""1920 x 1200"""

"- Hey babe, do you like how I did my makeup? - Yes and if you want I can go and kill Batman with you."

"Was being tested for allergies at an all-male nudist colony when the power went out... Needless to say, I felt every prick."

"Me: Excuse me sir, what's your Wi-Fi password? Him: *[Leans in] *[Whispers angrily] THIS IS A FUNERAL Me: *[Types in] THIS IS A FUNERAL"

"*runs into wife on the way to see his mistress* Aww are those flowers for me? -Uh...yeah Is there a card too? *with a mouthful of paper* No"