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Joke of the Day
"A mexican is on your front lawn bleeding out and calling for help. what do you do? Reload."
Next Joke
"I renamed my iPod Titantic It's syncing much better now."
"In answer to the question ""would you have sex with bill Clinton"" 87 percent of Americans responded No. Not again"
"*robbing a bank with a chainsaw* Me: GIVE ME ALL Y- Teller: WHAT M: GIVE ME THE MONEY T: SIR YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT IN HERE M: WHAT"
"Cop: *looks at license* Says here you need glasses. Me: I have contacts. Cop: I don't care who you know, you're not getting out of this one."
"Me: I'm in the mood for dessert *winks at wife* [2 hours later] Wife: *in lingerie, texts* WHERE R U Me: *texts* Getting ice cream. Y?"
"Do Bigfoot hunters and ghost hunters think the other ones are dumb or are they like: ""Game recognize game?"""
"My wife gets kind of bitchy once a month. It usually lasts about 30 days."
"What do you get when you mix a Native American and an Irishman? An alcoholic with a drinking problem"
"Me: Look, even if you could breathe underwater, no one wants to be Aquaman. 4yo: Who's Aquaman? Me: EXACTLY!"