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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie's life? Because he was too far out maaaan. (Hippy voice)"

"*throws king crab into tank of normal crabs* Go, lead them to freedom, this is your birthright"

"[1st Date] Brain: Be cool, gurl Him: Hi, I'm Ja- Me: Toilet paper should be called crapkins Him: Netflix: So... Just you and me again, eh?"

"It's impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone."

"The John Deere manure spreader It's the only product the company won't stand behind"

"Did you guys hear about the blind man who got hit in the head by a football? He never saw it coming."

"Whenever I see someone with spider web tattoos on their elbows I spray them with Raid and attempt to flush them down the toilet."

"Check out this article: The"

"When I die I'd like to be cremated I think I've urned it."

"Age is important only if you're cheese and wine."