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Joke of the Day

"How are music and candy similar? We throw away the rappers."

"What do a pizza and this joke have in common? They're both cheesy."

"We are never going to defeat the Decepticons, they are too good. I mean Bumblebee can't even talk! ~Pessimist Prime."

"I'm going to major in Philosophy when I go to college... ...so one day I can ask '*Why* do you want fries with that?'"

"English teachers put more thought into novels than the authors do."

"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Fish."

"were do animals go when their tails fall off? The retail store. Edit: WHERE NOT WERE I'M RETARDED I KNOW :((((("

"Met the daughter's new boy friend. Grabbed his crotch and whispered 'looking forward to tonight's three way'... And that is that."

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? You're hot but you make me really uncomfortable, sometimes my underwear gets sticky and I get burned"

"There are rumours big Canadian banks Scotia and TD may merge... giving Canada one giant STD"