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Joke of the Day

"Two cashews walk into a bar... The Bartender says ""How about a glass of our most expensive wine?"" The Cashews reply, ""Do you think we're Nuts?!"""

"The only ""b"" word you should call a girl is beautiful. Bitches love to be called beautiful."

"Did you know you can break your nose if you squint hard enough? I did it on the bus today and some Asian guy punched me in the face!"

"Classic How do you make a Ice Cream man sad? - - - - - - Kill his family."

"if you're feeling stressed out, just relax, take a deep breath, and exhale fire over all of your enemies. this is more for dragons btw"

"Why did the global warming activist compliment the earth? Cause it looked hotter than usual! (I'll see myself out)"

"Your brain has two sides: left and right. Your left brain has nothing right. Your right brain has nothing left."

"German Did you hear about the new German microwave oven? It seats 25."

"My teacher called me racist today.... So I told him "" I am not racist because as we all know racism is a crime and crime is only done by black people."""

"I went to bed last night and my brother came out of the closet and scared the shit out of me, I forgot we were playing hide and seek..."