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Joke of the Day

"Did you know you can break your nose if you squint hard enough? I did it on the bus today and some Asian guy punched me in the face!"

"Chuck Norris' erections hum."

"I've never falsely accused someone of hacking, whether aimbotting, wall hacking, or speed hacking They were all just really good at hiding it!"

"Listening to Jay-Z has literally taught me everything I know about whether or not a cop can legally search my car."

"What do you get when a cow has sex with coffee? Decalf"

"Q:What should Iraq get for its air defense system? A:A refund."

"What's the difference between a black person and cancer? Cancer got Jobs"

"I wish to die peaceful and in sleep like my grandfather and not screaming and afraid like passengers in his bus."

"My ""I'm enraged!"" status update on Facebook garnered a lot of congratulations from people who don't read well."

"For David Blaine's next trick, he will move in to a series of increasingly small apartments and eventually die alone."