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Joke of the Day

"Did you know you can break your nose if you squint hard enough? I did it on the bus today and some Asian guy punched me in the face!"

"Fish don't seem that stupid to me. If a burrito dropped out of the sky and hung in mid air I'd prob eat it."

"What are my views on lesbian relationships ? I view it in HD."

"In spanish... it only takes one to tengo."

"If you throw a ping pong ball in the air, no less than 45 Chinese people will materialize to catch it & start a tournament."

"How do you find Will Smith in a snow storm? Easy, just look for the fresh prints!"

"There are a lot of deadbeat dads out there trying to make up for lost time by ""liking"" their grown children's facebook updates."

"Roses... Roses are red My name is not Dave This makes no sense Microwave *Drops Mic*"

"Studies show that one in two and a half men are HIV Positive You can thank Charlie Sheen for that"

"Our Faults ""Once a friend of mine and I agreed that it would be helpful for each of us to tell the other all our faults"" ""How did it work ?"" ""We haven't spoken for five years""."