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Joke of the Day

"if you're feeling stressed out, just relax, take a deep breath, and exhale fire over all of your enemies. this is more for dragons btw"

Next Joke
 
"I've made the front page 5 times! The girls on /r/creepyPMs are really mean and don't understand the P means Private."
"My wife bought a new plant for for the house. I didn't like it at first... ...but it's starting to grow on me."
"After reading this sentence you will realize that the the brain doesn't recognize a second the'"
"Ugly people with great bodies should be required to wear a sign on their back with a picture of their face on it."
"The name's Bond.. James Earl Jones."
"A guy just offered to buy me a drink. I declined, but heard him say lesbo to his pal. I replied ""Only for you, baby"". Now he feels special."
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"Did you hear about the new German microwave? It seats 20."
"I go for chubby girls because they can't run away"