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Joke of the Day

"Don't laugh at the guy who drives the septic tank truck It may be shit to you, but it's bread and butter to him."

"Is Google a he or a she... Is Google a he or a she? A: A she, no doubt, because it wont let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas."

"What if cell phones are part of an elaborate plot to rid the world of phone booths so Superman has nowhere to change?"

"Opinions are like assholes.. Everybody's got one; Most of them aren't that pretty; and No one needs another one."

"What does IRE-1 say to XBP1 mRNA? Prepare to get RIDD of your intron."

"Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump."

"FIRST TIME SEX My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She: ""What are you doing?"" Me: ""I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering."

"Why do giraffes have such long necks? Because their heads are so far from their bodies."

"Mom is flying into JFK during Friday rush hour. An 'anonymous tip' should allow me to pick her up at the TSA and avoid the terminals."

"What does Mr. Miyagi do while Daniel-san waxes the car? He wax off."