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Joke of the Day

"Mom is flying into JFK during Friday rush hour. An 'anonymous tip' should allow me to pick her up at the TSA and avoid the terminals."

"I don't wanna get too political here, but I plan on voting for whichever candidate will do something about Meghan Trainor."

"He told me he wanted a dirty girl so I didn't shower for two weeks. Now he won't return my calls. Forget women, MEN and their mixed signals!"

"10 times out of 9, you'll find me exaggerating about something."

"A small boy got lost at a baseball game... He went up to a police officer and said: ""I've lost my dad."" ""What's he like?"" asked the police officer sympathetically. The boy replied, ""Beer and women."""

"Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Ted Cruz are on a plane. The plane crashes. Who survives? America."

"There's this Joke about North Korea but they won't let me post it."

"A woman asked her husband ""what trait of me do you love the most?'' ''My beautiful face? My sexy body?"" The husband looked at her from top to bottom, and answered, ""I love your humor."""

"I went to a zoo the other day. The only animal they had was a dog It was a shitzu."

"What do you call it when a bear makes a complete rotation on both its longitudinal and lateral axes, causing it to follow a helical path? A bearl roll."