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Joke of the Day

"Opinions are like assholes.. Everybody's got one; Most of them aren't that pretty; and No one needs another one."

"*pulls away from kissing -What does CVS stand for?"

"What did the disappointed smoker get for Christmas? Clothes but no cigar..."

"Do you know what my favorite Jews are? Apple."

"Basic Instinct Star Cast in ""The Carpenters"" Biopic This summer: SHARON IS KAREN"

"If your mom still washes your underwear, you're not allowed to have an opinion about anything."

"I mostly want a relationship so my boyfriend can chase me around trying to put an ice cube down my back as I demurely beg ""Dooooooooon't."""

"What does amnesia mean? Someone told me but I forgot."

"What did the ghost say to the other ghost at the Halloween party? Let's get sheet-faced!"

"Why did the painting go to jail? It was framed."