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Joke of the Day

"COP: Damn I left my regular handcuffs at home, all I have is these candy handcuffs. I trust that u won't eat ur way out of these CROOK: Sure"

"*Running late *Light turns green but car in front wont go *About to honk when reads bumper sticker: honk if you love disco *Is late for work"

"Did you see how nervous C-3PO was in the new movie? I mean he did seem a little red"

"Why did Bob get fired from his job at the dildo factory? Because he got caught sitting on the job."

"My doctor told me to start killing people. Well not in those exact words. He said I had to reduce the stress in my life. Same thing."

"I just got LASIK done and I highly recommend it to everyone thinking about it. 20/20, would do again."

"(Since bad pickup lines seem to be the trend right now) Do you want to play barbies? I'll be Ken, and you be the box he came in"

"Why did the peasant have poor judgement? He couldn't afford better judgement I'll be here all day folks"

"No, YOU didn't tighten the cap on my urine sample"

"This pill bottle says 'Take with plenty of fluids' and 'Don't take with alcohol'. That doesn't even make sense."