100032

Joke of the Day

"*Running late *Light turns green but car in front wont go *About to honk when reads bumper sticker: honk if you love disco *Is late for work"

"What's worse than an unfinished joke?"

"I like my women like I like my coffee... With no pubes."

"Was going to go see The Pope the other day but too tired to go... ...you could say that I was too pooped to Pope."

"What do you say to someone riding a stoned horse? Get off your high horse."

"Two pubes sat on a toilet seat...nsfw One says to the other, ""how long are we going to stay here?"" The other says ""dunno, till we get pissed off I suppose""."

"My wife and I have started aggressively planning for our retirement, and by that I mean we're playing the lottery 3-5 times per week."

"Why was the monster standing on his head at the birthday party? He heard they were having upside-down cake!"

"Vader: I'll teach you the Death Star's power Leia: By blowing up my planet? Vader: By showing you a PowerPoint presentation Leia: NOOO!!!"

"Hey guys, I think I just got murdered but I'm not sure, and WebMD is like ZERO help."