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Joke of the Day

"Why did Bob get fired from his job at the dildo factory? Because he got caught sitting on the job."

"TIFU by taking someone else's Subway order Oops, wrong sub."

"How can you tell that you're getting old? You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!"

"What did the redneck say to the Frenchman? You don't speak English fourchette!"

"What is it called when one blonde blows in another blonde's ear? Data transfer"

"A double entendre is when I don't know what the hell you're saying. Twice."

"Shutdown Apocalypse Update: GPS is down. Using a refrigerator magnet as a compass. I think it's just pointing to another refrigerator."

"Did hipster polar bears like the North Pole... before it was cool?"

"If I'm ever on life support, I want you to pull up he plug... Then wait 10 seconds and plug it back in, maybe that'll work."

"My initial goal is to get really, really fat and be a contestant on The Biggest Loser."