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Joke of the Day

"Just found out exercising... ...and exorcising are two very different things. Officially canceling my membership to the most terrifying gym ever. (via @wiseguypictures)"

"What was a poor Roman citizen's favorite breakfast? Fruity Plebbles."

"For all the bad things that happened this year I sure did get fat."

"The reality is men have no idea what women want... and women have no idea what women want"

"The Heist A man walks into the bank with a pistol. He aims the gun at his head and yells, ""Give me the money!""."

"What is a pirates favorite letter? Many think it's R, but his first love be the C."

"""WHAT?? You ate the last of the cantaloupe?? This is the worst day ever!"" Can you please stop being so melondramatic."

"Whats the best way to get gum out of your hair. cancer"

"Me: Oh my god, that cat is adorable! She's the cutest kitty I've ever seen! Cat: I just want to be friends."

"What did they tell the burger who enlisted in the Army? You've got no beef soldier!"