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Joke of the Day

"A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, ""Five beers please!"""

"As he inserted the rectal thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious erection. ""Maybe you should wait outside while I examine your dog,"" said the vet."

"I've been texting random numbers ""hey are we taking salvia before or after church?"""

"Why did MacDonald's ban Tumblr? Because they don't serve Trans-Fats."

"What do you call a high retarded person? A baked potato"

"A man died after following the World Health Organisation's advice: ""Eat 5 fruits and vegetables a day."" He ate 3 watermelons and two pumpkins."

"What do lawyers wear to court? Law suits!"

"Oh you got ""Swag""? Don't forget to put that on your Burger King Application."

"At the gynecologist Young woman:Doctor,last few days I can not feel the IUD string.What I am going to do now? Doctor:Well, now you can have sex with no strings attached!"

"Today's Favorited tweet is tomorrow's Facebook update."