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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I never had a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Can any of you read your Chinese food bill? Looks like they charged me for a chicken lo-mein, a python, Africa, and a diet Coke."

"Stop leaving me messages. If I ever wanted to talk to you again, I wouldn't have borrowed all that money."

"Where does a Sith Lord do their shopping? The Maul."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Pacquiao was chasing it!"

"Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field."

"My girlfriend has terrible eyesight... she's always accidentally sleeping with other guys. Poor girl."

"So ... Helium walks into a bar Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says: ""We don't serve noble gasses here."" Helium doesn't react."

"They're a pack of lions He's some guy who hates lions Together, they're: PRIDE AND PREJUDICE This fall on CBS"

"If running on a treadmill was the only way to recharge our phones we would be the healthiest mofos on the planet."