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Joke of the Day
"My favourite Celine Dion song is the one where it's muted all the way through."
Next Joke
"Kanye West says he's the Michael Jordan of music. If he's talking about the time when Michael Jordan was playing baseball, I totally agree."
"REMEMBER: It's not ""drinking alone""...if your kids are in the car with you."
"Don't bore a girl by saying she's beautiful, like every other shallow creep Grab her interest by saving her from a staged hostage situation"
"Nice guys finish last. But thats because practice makes perfect."
"Did you hear about the new cemetery? People are dying to get in."
"When Lionel Messi dies.. He should have his Argentinian team mates bury him so they can let him down one last time.."
"I have only one resolution. To rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have. Happy New Year!"
"Who are the fastest readers in the world? The people in the world trade center, these mother fuckers blew threw a hundred stories in two seconds!"
"I like my women in the same fashion I like my pencil lead. Thin, black, and easily breakable."