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Joke of the Day
"Being drunk is a very unpleasant experience... Just ask a glass of water."
Next Joke
"BREAKING NEWS: Adrian Peterson has been traded to the Minnesota Twins They needed a switch hitter"
"You text him, he doesn't text you back. Obviously he was so excited that you texted that he fainted."
"Superb Waiter Our waiter went above and beyond his job description. He brought a lot to the table."
"Why did Skrillex's girlfriend dump him? Because he D-D-D-D-DROPPED THE BABY."
"What should I buy for dinner? I see frozen peas are cool this time of year. ..you might say that's a corny joke, but it's really not. It's a pea joke."
"My ex is going to make some guy very happy one day but completely miserable the rest of the time."
"To be used as an insult or a pick up line for a heavy set woman- ""You don't need to lose weight, you need to gain bone."""
"Dance like no one is threatening to call the police if you don't take your boombox and leave the Christian Science Reading Room immediately."
"I wish I had taught my dog the command ""Taylor Swift"" so every time it snowed he would just ""Shake It Off."""