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Joke of the Day

"You can catch a decent buzz from smoking catnip but don't be surprised if you wake up on top of the fridge."

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"Where do fat people live? (no offense meant) Original joke by me... Where do fat people live? ... ... ... in Obe-city."
"ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Noel."
"My kid just locked me out of the house in 95 degree weather, but sure, ""it goes by so fast."""
"Why statutory rape jokes aren't funny. They always happen too soon."
"I got a free wallet and watch today. It's like this gun is magic."
"Q: Did you hear about the book about cowardice? A: It had no spine."
"Ok, another Grandfather joke. (revised) Just joking they're both locked in my basement with their mouths gagged while I collect their social security checks."
"If Trump replaces Obama as president, Then it will be the first time a white billionaire moves into government subsidized housing after a black family moved out. Edit: Billionaire"
"I can't stand this long distance relationship anymore. Fridge, you're coming to my room."